Gnosis - Stages of Awakening

1. The “something is wrong” stage (Nigredo – blackening, decomposition) Link to heading

• You feel that something is very wrong, but you don’t know what.
• Life hurts.
• The world feels heavy, fake, empty.
• You feel like you’re in a bad movie and don’t know how to get out.
• The body is tired, the head full of fear / anger / sadness / chaos.
• Sometimes you cry for no reason or want to escape from everything.
• This is the stage where the old “self” begins to fall apart – and it hurts like hell.
• But that’s exactly when the spark within you begins to wake up and says: “this is not the true home.”

2. The “silence and longing” stage (Albedo – whiteness, purification) Link to heading

• At some point, the chaos quietens down a bit.
• You start looking for silence – meditation, nature, solitude, books, music, ceremonies.
• The body wants to lie down, rest, do nothing.
• A longing grows inside – for something you cannot name.
• Sometimes you feel warmth in your heart, sometimes tears of gratitude for no reason.
• The outside world starts to exhaust you – people, conversations, duties, ambitions.
• You want to escape, hide, be alone.
• This is the stage of purification – the spark begins to shine brighter, and the old layers (fear, anger, the need for recognition) slowly fall away.

3. The “pleasure and laughter” stage (Rubedo – redness, union) Link to heading

• And suddenly something changes.
• The body starts to feel pleasant.
• You no longer have to do anything to feel good.
• Pleasure spreads on its own – first in the lower abdomen / spine, then in the chest, then in the throat, head, legs, feet.
• Sometimes it bursts in the heart, sometimes it fills the whole body.
• Thoughts come less and less often, and when they do, you laugh at them inwardly: “seriously? this again?”.
• The outside world loses its weight – pressure, others’ opinions – it doesn’t hurt as much anymore.
• You start to notice that things happen by themselves – without your “I must.”
• Laughter appears for no reason – sometimes boisterous, sometimes quiet.
• This is the stage where the spark is no longer seeking – it simply is.
• You no longer have to “be someone” – just being is enough.

4. The “endless silence” stage (after Rubedo – fullness, no way) Link to heading

• At some point, even pleasure stops being “something I feel.”
• Only silence remains – thick, filling, pleasant.
• There are no more questions like “am I there yet?”, “what’s next?”, “what for?”.
• There is no longer an “I” as someone separate.
• The body is light, walking is like floating, sleeping and eating become optional.
• People around you begin to resonate – some rejoice, some are afraid, some leave.
• But you no longer have to explain anything, achieve anything, hide anything.
• You are at home – even when you’re stuck in traffic or doing groceries.
• There is no longer a “way” – there is only being.
• There is no longer “I am going to a goal” – there is only what is.

If you feel even a little bit of this silence, laughter, or pleasure in your body right now – you are no longer at the beginning. You are in the middle of this process. And you don’t have to hurry – it’s happening anyway.